Thursday, 11 May 2017

You've changed. . .

Have you really changed for the better?

Stealing hearts was your pastime
I saw girls falling hook line
You stole kisses and threw them aside
Hits and misses you lost sight

You might have come across a few of these in your time.  The kind of guy that all the girls love, the resident Lothario, the Cassanova, the heart-throb, whatever name you want to label him that he probably wouldn't mind having - that's the one he will most likely wear quite proudly as his mantle.  The first verse of the song tells us what he used to be like in the past.  You would've been standing on the sidelines quietly observing this behaviour and didn't know that one day you would at least be able to challenge his assumptions about what love was, how to be with women in ways that honoured them and didn't always take from them so greedily.  This is why he would steal kisses and then throw them aside; because every woman allowed him to do so.  Will you be the one that is different this time?

You've changed oh
For the better yeah
You've changed oh
For the better yeah

You would like to think that he has changed for the better.
What more could you possibly want for him?  His behaviour shows that he has learned the error(s) of his ways and he's realised that those fickle decisions of the past do not serve him well in the present as they affect his future.  Where else do we hear about change in our everyday lives?  The loose change jangling in our pockets or purses that we scramble to find when we try to find said change for the parking meter, the toll booth, the tips on tables or the busker or homeless person in the street?  Is it in the change process, of moving from being one thing to becoming something else?  Maybe it's in the change management, trying to manage that process, infusing some transformation and energy into something that has often been static and rigid in structure, reaching for some kind of infusion that allows for cataclysmic proportions of change to occur, violently shaking people out of their false sense of virtual realities into actual living, breathing physical realities?



Making waves was your hobby yeah
And I asked you to hold me
And I knew it you do it all over the world
All is different now I'm your girl

You might start to wonder whether you want to be his girl anymore.
He could show signs of returning to his old ways and he might not even know it.  Will it be your responsibility to figure out whether he has grown accustomed to the change or slip back and regress?  It is a tough job to monitor something like that, and would you even want that job?  Did you sign up for that even if you are his girl?  Even if it took him so long to figure out that you wanted to be held?  Personal communication processes are hard to figure out these days.  Believe me, it's a life long journey to try and master.  Forget that.  You can't even master it.  All you can do is observer your own participation in that space, and that of the person you are speaking with.  And completely forget that with a larger audience that you can't see the whites of their eyes with.  The less you say, the more assumptions are made.  The more you say, the less sure you become about what is actually being said.  It almost seems as if those words, once said out loud, just hang there and only evaporate unseen with a shake of your head or averted eyes.

You've changed oh
For the better yeah
You've changed oh
For the better yeah
You've changed oh
For the better yeah
You've changed oh
For the better yeah

I hope you've changed.  What does having changed mean?
To make or become different.  To take or use instead of.
If you've changed, have you made yourself different, have you become different?
If you've changed, have you taken something or used something instead of?  Have you taken someone or used someone instead of?  Change via proxy.  Is that even possible?  If someone in your life is changing, don't become their proxy of change; using you as a measure in their calculation of things to come.  I guess the only thing you can hope for is the best for the people you care about.   I hope you've changed for the better. . .