Tuesday, 9 January 2018

I say so. . .

There's one thing I know for sure. . . 

I woke up this morning with some things laid on my heart
Couldn't go another minute being in the dark
Will there ever be tomorrow? We will never know
But we're in this world together
And together we should grow, row, row
Oh woah oh, oh woah, oh woah

I had secretly suspected that when I returned to play for my church choir that I would be met with opposition.  If not overt opposition, then there would at least be some raised eyebrows or questions about why I was returning to play.  I hadn't planned on returning this year, not until well after my thesis had been completed and submitted.  But sometimes there are things that are beyond my control, because in actual fact, I was called to return.

There were many signs along the way that I chose to ignore.  It wasn't because I doubted these signs either as I've learned how to read and interpret signs long before I could speak.  I just didn't want to acknowledge them before I had finished what I had thought was my only mission in the last few years.  The 'tomorrow' that I am planning isn't just for or even about me.  It's for everyone who has yet to be born, and I know that sounds strange, but I know it to be true, because I am living the destiny that was foretold before I was even an apple in my father's eye.  This is why I couldn't go another minute being in the dark.  I have to get this story out while I can.  Not just this blogpost.  But my life's work in the learning that I have endured.



There's no need to worry 'cause we're gonna be just fine
Grab my hand and join me, darling, let's forget the time
'Cause I see the children laughing even though their days are gray
All of us dreamers and we have something to say, yeah, yeah
Hey yeah, hey, hey, hey, hey, yeah hey hey hey

I have always been a dreamer.  I have learned to be a realist but that was something I have learned over time because I had to conform to what was happening all around me, rather than acknowledging what was inside me.  In the face of despair, discouragement and disapproval, I have learned to smile, grin and bear it.  It hasn't been an easy process but they have been lessons along the way that I have relished learning because they have been necessary.  When my friend told me about people's snide comments and even when I insisted on knowing the names of these people, my friend would not reveal who these people were.  It confirmed my suspicion that they were people that my friend was close to as well, so it didn't really matter, other than, shouldn't I know who the people who are make complaints about me?  Or make judgements, criticisms and comments if they feel that I have treated them unfairly?  The more we talked about what had been heard, I quickly deduced that it wasn't anything obvious that I had to offend or hurt these people - I was just born this way.  Organised, a hard worker, willing to do my best so that everyone can contribute.  But my friend said that maybe these people who said these things didn't really know me.  Isn't that classic though right?  Talk about me behind my back but to my face - too scared to say a damn thing.



We are the children of the world 
We are the lovers of the earth
And that's why every little thing, every little thing gonna be alright
We are the children of the world
We are the lovers of the earth
That's why every little thing, every little thing gonna be alright

If you are a person who knows their destiny, there is nothing that you wouldn't do - the daily grind, the constant drive to do what needs to be done.  You're the get there early, last to leave type of person.  You're the one that reads all of the reports to know what is actually happening and you try to do your own work as quickly as possible so you can help others who might need support.  I laugh at how people would rather gossip, than ask you questions about your modus operandi, ask questions about why you do what you do and how you go about being successful in your life.  I get asked by those who really want the best for themselves and as my close friends will attest to - I share my knowledge freely and willingly if it means it helps them achieve their very best life.  What I am not a fan of, is when people try to undermine the good that you do, and make up lies or stories about what you're not actually doing.  I have always been fascinated by gullible people who would rather believe stories than the actual proof of the work that I have done.  That says a lot about the limitations of their cognitive capabilities (just a euphemistic way of saying they're stupid, and anyone who knows me well, knows I cannot stand stupidity).

Every little thing gon' be alright
Every little thing gon' be alright
'Cause I say so
Every little thing gon' be alright
Every little thing gon' be alright
'Cause I say so

I thought of a bible verse that another friend shared with me a few weeks ago and it sprang to mind when I had this conversation today.  The reading is Colossians 3:23-24 and it reads like this:
23) Whatever you do, do it enthusiastically, as something done for the Lord and not for men, 24) knowing that you will receive the reward of an inheritance from the Lord. You serve the Lord Christ. Great words to live by, to meditate on and think about as I head into choir rehearsal tonight.  Do what I do enthusiastically and to serve Christ.  What other answer could eclipse that?  I don't even need to say it - just show them.  One of the things Loma used to always say - don't tell me, show me :-)

What did I learn about the conversation?  That it doesn't matter what people say behind my back, because they lack the courage to say it to my face haha.  But seriously, I will address it head on where it needs to be addressed and let people know in no uncertain terms that I don't do what I do to control people, but I do it because I have gifts and talents that I would like to share with people that need it the most - whether they recognise that or not.  I just need to remember that I never feel more at home as when I'm involved in making music that serves a higher purpose, greater than me, and I don't need to justify every single thing.  Because there's one thing that I know for sure. . . every little thing gon' be alright, 'cause I say so. . .